that I'm always so close to feeling like life is going to slow down, get easier or be less chaotic? Why is it that it always feels so close I can almost touch it, taste it, feel it, but I'm never quite there.
Is it because I'm striving for impossible perfection?
Is it because I'm never satisfied?
Is it because I'm always wanting more out of myself and my life?
Is it because I'm always trying to push myself harder than before?
Is it because I don't settle for mediocrity?
OR
Is it because I am just stupid and I haven't figured out how to do "it" yet?
I'd love to know the answer! Some days I think that I just expect too much out of myself. Other times I feel like there is so much more I could be doing with my time; my life. I feel like I have a healthy sense of controlled chaos in my life. However, some days (like today) when it all catches up to me and I am behind on ten million tasks that I have committed to...I just think that I am crazy!
I know that I'm not the only one asking myself these questions everyday so please, share some insight with me, why is it?!?
9.04.2008
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12 comments:
I know what you mean. I think I've just tried to accept it, and hope that it doesn't get any crazier, but somehow I know it will. A lot of insight that is, huh?
if you find the answer, PLEASE share with us!!! I"ve been needing that answer for awhile now! sorry, I"m no help, but at least I feel your pain! :)
It's just that damn PTA! That's it...cut that out and all will be well! Love Ya.
You hide it well & always appear to have it all together and so organized! Don't feel bad, I am a perfectionist, but for a long time I've just had to let some of the things go... well maybe alot....I mean way too much:) I have become the mom who runs around in sloppy clothes & is lucky to have her hair done most of the time. The one, I swore I would never be, but have become. AHHHHH, oh well... I'm not gonna let life get in my way of playing & having fun!
I remember thinking at one time...when I am done dating and get married "it" will be better. Then thinking..when Jarod graduates Law school "it" will get easier..then thinking when all my children are in school I will have more time for "it...." and I am sure when that point comes there will be some other expectation for "it"
I have found that most of the time I function best with all the expectations that I have for myself, but there are times I get overwhelmed...and then..I clean :) The good news is that you are NOT alone...all of us have CHAOS in our lives, and you handle it quite well :) I appreciate this blog a lot, because a lot of the times I think that blogs show all the GREAT and WONDERFUL times...when we ALL know that we have our down times too. I think that if you reflect on your relationship with God, your marriage, and your family (extended included), you will see that you do IT well and are still headed in the right direction, regardless of whether or not you get those ten million tasks completed!!!
Britt - Have you read "Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh? That book of little essays describes just what you are thinking/writing about, how some days it seems our lives as women are filled with work and building "oyster beds" and that at the end of the day, we aren't satisfied with them but we keep making more ugly shell beds because our families need us. Check it out - kind of "C.S. Lewis-ish" for the lives of women. Not to impose more things for your list, but this short book kind of takes you away from WHAT you are doing to WHY and what to do next. You'll love it. Luv ya!
ok, this is more than you were asking for, I'm sure, but just after reading your blog I was reading in the July Ensign, "There may be times when we feel overwhelmed, hurt, or on the edge of discouragement as we are trying so hard to be perfect members of the Church. Be assured there IS a balm in Gilead. Let us listen to the prophets of our day as they help us to focus on the things that are central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children. The Lord knows us, He loves us, He wants us to succeed, and He encourages us by saying: "And see that all...things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that [men or women] should run faster than [they] have strength.... [But]it is expedient that [they] should be diligent" (Mosiah 4:27).
That's from Pres. Uchtdorf. Then he continued on to quote the Family Proclamation about giving highest priority to family prayer, FHE, gospel study etc. And finally the reminder from Pres. McKay that "no other success can compensate for failure in the home."
In a nutshell, you are amazing. I discover more and more to admire about you the more I get to know you. We can certainly NOT do it all, that would be too easy. :) So our real task is prioritizing. May we ever seek the Spirit in such a difficult and vital task. Keep up all the great work...according to the priorities you've set and let me know how I can lighten that PTA (or any other) load.
I wish I had some great advice like everyone else who commented before me, but my excuse is I'm pregnant, so I feel like I get a break from keeping up. :) I hear you though. I've had to learn to relax and enjoy the simple things in life, making family and church my priorities.
Well, it must be because you have kids. Because for me, life slows down when I want it to. I just take a break. But then again, I guess I'm not really a perfectionist either! Best of luck to ya!
There was a man in my ward a couple of months ago that I was having a conversation with. We were talking about minorities and the Olympics and all of the countries I had never even heard of. Then he said something that will stick with me forever. He said "Natalie, do you know what minority would be the hardest to be a part of?" And then he answered, "A Mormon lady." We are always doing so much, and trying so hard and striving to progress daily. We want our kids to be involved and develop their talents. We want to go to book club and enrichment and PTA meetings and ball games and read our sctiptures and have weekly FHE and the list goes on. My advice is to take it one day at a time. All that really matters is that we're progressing. Now, someone needs to give me the same advice.
Wow Brittany, you've just about summed up my inner struggle for the past few weeks. Things have really started to take off with my little business which has become more and more like fulltime. I feel like it is what will be best for our family financially right now, but it is a constant battle in my mind about how I spend my time. I am right there with you. I have just been praying for peace and reassurance.
Would love to chat,
Briana
Well, I don't know the answer, but I do feel the same way. It seems like every time I turn around there is something else to do or to worry about. Thanks for your blog, because is makes me feel better when I know I am not the only one that feels this way. Today I decided not to worry so much about my house not being unpacked and about all the boxes sitting in the kitchen and feeling cramped because I don't have a place to put them right now. It will eventually work out...so for today I am not worrying...and it feels nice. I tried more to play with the kids today and to do relaxing things...it has helped relieve some of the other stresses in my life! Good luck with catching up on yours...I would come and help if I didn't already have a million things to do also. Maybe soon we can come down and get Payton and Parker and have them come sleep over to give you a little break!!
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