I have been in "beast mode" lately and not in a good way. I've been going all Marshawn Lynch on my innocent, bystander family. It would be fair if they had their pads, helmet and game face on, but they don't. They've been completely blindsided by my aggressive running style, ability to break tackles and my propensity for running over anything in my way!
I'm fully aware of my actions, but yet day after day the "beast mode" continues. My wife and mom guilt is strong. Feeling inadequate in my maternal duties, I busy myself with things that don't really matter. One evening as I was scurrying around the house taking care of some unimportant task, Cooper asked if he could have a snack. I quickly barked, "Sure, but make it fast...and stay in the kitchen... and clean up after yourself!"
I was standing in the kitchen reading something super important, I'm sure, on my phone when I glanced up to see the sweetest sight. This precious boy was mustering all the concentration he had to perfectly spread his peanut butter onto the bread. For the first time in days, I didn't see the two dirty knives, the loaf of bread, the toaster sitting out or any of the messes. I simply saw a precious child; learning, growing and becoming right before my eyes.
In this moment of clarity, I realized that my kids messes are really opportunities for learning and growth. I felt peace about my abilities to be a good Mom. The impression came, "you taught him how to do this." I realized that being busy wasn't so bad. I was giving my kids the opportunity to do things for themselves. However, in the whirlwind of daily life, sometimes I need to take a moment to look up. Just as Marshawn Lynch looks up as he's sprinting to the end zone. I need to do the same.
Sometimes I forget who my teammates are. My children and my husband are on my team. They are my blockers trying to push the unnecessary out of my life so that I can get to the end zone. Too often, I see them as my obstacles. My eye is too focused on the end zone and I'll run over anyone in my way. This week I'm looking for team bonding experiences. I'm looking up more and trying to get to the end zone with my team mates, not in spite of them!