A teenager and a Mom
The boy who made me a Mom is now a teenager.
When I was a teenager, I remember wanting, wishing and dreaming about the day I would get my happily ever after. Someday I would have my very own family. Someday I would have little babies. I would be their Mother. Someday seemed so far away.
Without really noticing, someday is today and somehow my little baby grew up. I can barely remember myself before I was a Mom. Becoming a Mom was everything I had ever hoped for and yet the most frightening thing that ever happened to me. I think back to my twenty something self and wish I could tell that girl what I know now.
I would tell her to be careful what she wishes for because, so far, every wish she's made has come true. I would make sure she knew that every day is magical and precious. Babies really don't keep. The sleepless nights don't end, they just change. The joy of snuggling and holding a newborn becomes distant, but your heart still skips a beat when you see your son interact with others, help around the house and be the young man you always dreamed he would be. I would tell her that all her dreams were going to come true. Just sit back and enjoy the journey.
The journey seems so short. I remember rocking this teenage boy in my arms as a tiny infant, tears streaming down my face, whispering hopes and aspirations about the life he had ahead of him. Praying he would know how much I loved him. Hoping he could be forgiving of all the mistakes I was making.
Now this grown boy bounces in the door, traipses in and out, without a care in the world. He's polite, obedient, respectful, funny and smart. I really like the boy he's becoming and I've loved every stage that we've been through to get to this place. I still can't wrap my brain around how we got here. Just like that yesterday is today and someday is now.
Many veteran Moms tried to share their knowledge, but it doesn't matter how much great advice I received, I had to learn how to be a Mom my way. I had to learn from my own experience. In many ways, it feels like we're starting the infancy stage all over again. Often, we sit in silence and I wonder what he is thinking. I wish he could tell me what he needed and how he feels. Often he does, but other times my place is to sit and be silent with him, much like comforting an infant. My place is to simply be there for him and try to figure out what he needs. We're both just figuring out this crazy world together.
This boy, who is now a teenager, continues to teach me. He continues to make my dreams come true. I don't know what the next thirteen years have in store, but my wish is that they are just as amazing as the last thirteen have been.
Happy Birthday to my first!